Are you a sheep at work?

Hi everyone,

I’m taking a break from the series on change to share something that’s certainly helped me a lot in my career and continues to do so. I’ve been having a lot of conversations about this recently with some of my clients so I thought I should share it with my loyal blog subscribers as well!

So which political animal are you at work?

Do you work very hard, do what’s expected of you and more, have a huge amount of integrity and generally are a “safe pair of hands” BUT often seem to miss out on the big opportunities and paycheck? Do you wonder how it is that the big bosses know the “other guy” but not you? Chances are you are a sheep. Don’t be disheartened, you’re not alone. Read on to find out how you can improve your game at work…

First things first – credit where it is due: Professor Simon Baddeley from the university of Birmingham together with Kim  James developed a descriptive model of political behaviour using political awareness/lack of political awareness and acting with integrity/psychological game-playing to create four distinct behavioural categories as shown in the diagram below.

Which political animal are you at work?

So a brief summary of the 4 categories follows plus some tips on how you can be the wise Owl.

FOX

We all know one – the fox likes power and hanging out with powerful people and wants to be seen as powerful too. Usually charming and measured in speech, with the ability to simulate feelings and plans. The fox usually knows the lowdown and is clued in on the gossip and checks out any rumours and is very aware of other peoples opinions. The fox is not someone with high integrity and often leaves jobs before being found out and is a master manipulator so appears never to make mistakes. The fox knows how the formal and informal system works and works the system very well. The fox garners support, bargains and ingratiates and exploits weaknesses in allies and opponents (sheep – that’s you!). Says things like “Leave it to me, I’ll have a word, X is terribly out of touch” or “I have already discussed this thoroughly and we are all in agreement” (actually BS).

OWL

The owl is aware of their purpose and goals and interested in being associated with power and (this is important) can handle being disliked! The owl has excellent inter-personal skills and is emotionally intelligent and an excellent listener so is aware of other peoples opinions and checks gossip & rumour. The owl uses alliances and knows how the system works (formal & informal), learns from mistakes and does not get defensive about them. The Owl is loyal, acts with integrity and has the capacity for friendship, shares information and is open and co-operative. Crucially the owl recognizes who knows, who can & who cares. Says things like “How are we going to resolve this?”, Let me make sure I understand what you want” & “can I have another go”. I’ve shared 5 tips to help you become an owl at the end, so keep reading!

DONKEY

Unprincipled, not very skilled socially, hates being ignored and likes to associate with authority. Does not like direction or appreciate political purpose, game-player but not necessarily very good at it. Not emotionally intelligent, makes judgements based on own feelings rather than ethics or procedure, not a good listener. Sees things in black & white and uses a lot of cliches. Makes remarks like ” Well we all know how he got his job, don’t we”.

SHEEP

The sheep has principles and ethics (and boy don’t you know about it!). The sheep looks up to authority and expects them to sort it out, does not appreciate political purpose, power may be a “bad” word and usually co-incides with authority. The sheep does not network and does not know how to get support and believes in “expert” and “position” power. The sheep listens but does not always hear, sticks to the rulebook and over emphasizes the rational. The sheep is open and shares information freely, sees things as “either-or” and says things like “can we get on with what we are her for” and” if only they would tell us what they want so we can do it”

So how do you become an Owl?

1. Get over your distrust / dislike of power! Your coach can also help with this but the main thing is to realise that power or a position is not ethical or unethical, the people who have it are. Wouldn’t you rather be the person with the power since you are ethical?

2. Listen!! really pay attention to what other people are saying and doing and watch out for what is not being said! Tune in to the grapevine.

3. Network and make friends – it’s much easier than you think. Go for a coffee or lunch with peers, seniors (direct boss as well as their peers) and attend social work events like pub nights.

4. It’s not personal-Get over the disease to please and the need to be liked. If someone says something about you or your work – it is NOT personal. Read “The four agreements” – its a phenomenal book & a great read, it will really help.

5. Know the system – There is always an informal system / unwritten rulebook in any workplace. E.g. even though you may have a formal approval process the main person to get approval from may be someone else, or so-and-so needs to buy in to a new idea before it’s presented. Identify the Owls in your office, watch & learn what they do & make friends with them!

Let me know what you think about this – comment & share it if you liked it.

Best wishes,

Piya

The other C word

Thank you for your comments on the C(hange) Word. As promised here is the sequel to that post from a galaxy far far away…(I’ve always wanted to say that!!!).

The other C word is of course, Clarity. This is one that evokes the most wails, whines, bleats, sighs and even nervous giggles usually with the tag line “If I knew what I wanted, I would do it, but I don’t know what I want” or simply “I don’t know what I want” (sigh). I hear this everywhere I go, from most people I meet, which is sad because it’s kinda Critical to know what you want if you’re to have half a chance of getting it.

So how is it possible to become clearer on what you want? Here are some of my ideas based on my personal experience. You see, I too used to say “I wish I knew what I wanted” all too frequently – here’s what helped me.

1. I stopped saying “I don’t know” & started saying – I’m figuring it out. Sounds simple, I know but it made a big difference to my mood and attitude. Instead of beating up on myself for not knowing, I gave myself a break and made it OK not to have all the answers immediately. It helped me to relax and lighten up, which in turn helped me to figure out bit by bit what I truly wanted. So lighten up on yourself – life changes, you change all the time and it’s OK not to know EVERYTHING you want right this minute. Stick with it though!

2. I got a Coach – This is HUGE & helped me more than I can say. It’s the single most important step IMHO & really encompasses all the other steps too. My wonderful coach Ros worked with me over a period of time to answer this question from a number of different angles & using many ways. Most importantly, she kept me on track & held me accountable to actually keep asking the question, i.e. not avoiding it or putting it off till the weekend (which never came or vanished in a mist of red wine or G&T / Pimms depending on the season).  Thirdly, she provided a space of safety and fun to have these conversations with myself and explore this in a curious and light and fun way.  So get a coach if you are really serious about figuring out what you want to be when you grow up or even if you want to grow up!

3. I made space and stayed in the questions – Frankly, I avoided facing this question (and myself) a lot with all the wonderful distractions life & London has to offer. Everything from Cricket to picnics to parties to pubs to movies to books to holidays….The problem is, it would not go away and I finally made it a priority. Or better said, I made me a priority – it became more important to listen to my self than blot out my inner voice with distractions. How? I made space & time for myself – reading time, reflection & introspection time, personal time to hang out with myself and explore the questions. Saying “I don’t have time is another way of saying “I don’t want to”. That’s fine, just be honest with yourself & cut the BS. When you want to enough, you will.

4. “I know what I don’t want” - I knew that I did not want to stay in the same situation forever – I enjoyed what I was doing & my life but I knew I did not want to be there 10 or even 5 years down the line. Most people know what they don’t want, which is a great place to begin! Usually, what you do want is the opposite of what you don’t want, so this is often the 1st step to clarity. E.g. – I don’t want to be fat so I DO want to be slim; I don’t want to be an accountant all my life so I do want to do something different at some point. Just knowing that you want something to change is a big step towards choosing the specifics of the change so when you know what you don’t want to do ask what’s the opposite or what do I want instead?

5. Funneling – this goes with 4. Start general & then narrow down to more specific points gradually. So e.g. “I don’t want to be an accountant forever” could lead to “I would like to be outdoors more often” or “I’d like to do something more tangible with my hands.” The next step is to drill down gently, gradually – “What does outdoors mean” – maybe on a mountain, I like climbing OR “hands” could mean anything from woodwork to writing to painting… explore explore explore. Just keep asking questions and having the conversation ( you can probably see now how having a coach really helps with this!)

6. Key questions: Some of the critical questions I asked myself & eventually answered were a) what’s important to me? b) Why is it important to me? c) What would my ideal work day look like? d) What do I love doing? e) When was the last time I had so much fun I forgot to check the time? f) How would it feel if I was really clear? g) What was I doing the last time I felt that way?

7. Resources: A good book to read is “What colour is your parachute”.  Another cool and fun thing is hanging out with people who you think are interesting or do things you think would be cool e.g. I spoke to a lot of coaches and speakers while I was exploring, read books about environmentalists and saw programmes about them, found out what a “day in the life” would be like. Ask around – you know more people than you think and they know people who know people….

8. Enjoy yourself – Have fun figuring it out, be curious, consider it as a license to thrill yourself! Play with it – I had great fun trying on professions in my head and imagined myself as a famous author, rockstar…This is a fun journey and you’ll know when you know .

Happy exploring.

Piya

The C(hange) word

The Change Word

I was recently at a conference in Portugal and was asked “Why Change?” so often I thought I’d write about it so here goes.

Most people in my experience resist change – they respond by sulking (at best) when someone “changes” their world to having a complete meltdown at worst.  Heraclitus of Ephesus said in the 6th century B.C. “There is nothing permanent except change” and those words are still as true 27 centuries later.

Here’s the thing – change is a fact of life and we are changing all the time, even though we may not always realize it! For instance our bodies are constantly changing – we get a new stomach lining every 6 days, our skin, hair and nails grow every single day and in fact the cellular composition of our bodies changes each nano-second (that ‘s a billionth of a second)!

We also change psychologically and mentally each day – we know more and think a little differently today than we did yesterday, sometimes simply because of new information or often because of new experiences and interactions with the world we are in. A world, which (bleedingly obvious I know, but has to be said) is changing very rapidly in multiple ways and we must adapt if we want to keep up and succeed in a changing economy and ever-smaller world thanks to speedier communication, cheap air-travel and the G-word (Globalisation).

So since we cannot change the fact that we are changing, we may as well embrace it and work it. I firmly believe that the people who will be truly successful in this time and beyond will be those who embrace change, take advantage of it and even control and direct it rather than resist it and react to it. What do I mean by that??? Well just that change need not always be something that’s imposed from the outside alone, it’s possible to actually create the change we want in our lives if we want to enough and have the discipline to follow through. Plus, it’s more fun when things change than when they always stay the same – if we knew the outcome to every situation in advance, or had the same old, same old every single day, I think we’d all be bored stiff!

So how can we embrace change and make it work for us? In my personal experience one of the keys and perhaps the most critical, is Clarity – complete clarity on what you actually want and why. Clarity on what and why makes it possible to focus on and answer the question how. And here’s the thing – the moment you ask the question how, your focus is on making it happen and you can now find or create a way. If you’re not sure of the what and not really clear on the why, it’s almost impossible to focus in – imagine trying to hit several moving targets at once! If there is one thing I encourage everyone to do, it’s become really clear on what you want. The other advantage is once you know the what and the why, it’s easy to avoid getting distracted as you can instantly decide on whether any new opportunity fits in with your goals and say No when necessary. The ability to say No is critical IMHO as it ensures that we focus on what we want rather than getting pulled in many (often undesirable) directions at once.

I will be sharing some ideas on how to become clear on what and why and also the other keys (according to me) on how to actually befriend change and use it and direct it in coming days so watch this space!

Best wishes,

Piya

Life lessons from David James and Jermain Defoe

As an avid football fan I’ve been following Englands progress closely in the FIFA World Cup 2010. Needless to say I’m thrilled that we are in the last 16! A few really interesting things stood out for me though – Juergen Klinsman on being asked about Englands chances before the game with Slovenia said something like ‘why do you always see the cup as half-empty, this is a great team and I think they can even win the world cup’. A really telling remark about the attitude of the English media – what would happen if we saw the cup as half-full? Surely now more than ever its time to get behind the team??? World cup winners in the past have not cruised through to the final, often they reach there bruised and somewhat battered which perhaps gives them a mental edge because they’ve seen it all & come through.

Also fascinating is the mental game and how many sports stars use techniques like visualisation, positive thinking and staying focused on the end goal to the exclusion of all else. Jem Defoe was asked whether it’s a disruption to have to travel for the match with Germany and he said something to the effect that its irrelevant, we are focusing on the game, not on this stuff. He also said the important thing is to stay positive & focus on winning and be confident. Sounds simple and basic doesn’t it? And yet, how often do we actually look for what we want to see rather than thinking of the “worst case scenario”? Why don’t we say “best case scenario”??? A classic case in point was the media interview with David James today. It was fascinating to see how he was asked about penalties about 20 times despite saying umpteen times that the intention is to win in 90 minutes. He even apologized for sounding like “Groundhog Day” and eventually refused to answer questions about penalties because he does not want to have to deal with them so why focus on them? Why indeed? Why not focus on winning in 90 minutes, which I think England are absolutely capable of doing.

David also talked about how he visualises saving goals and catching the ball. Another fan of visualisation is Ronaldinho and also Virender Sehwag from the Indian cricket team.

So what can we take away from these super stars that are at the top of their game in every way?

• Focus on what you WANT, not what you don’t want.
• Stay positive at all times.
• Visualise success

Sports stars the world over use these simple techniques with amazing results – it’s about time we all took a leaf out of their books!

Come on England!!!!

Procrastination – harder habit to kick than booze?

I was doing some research for my upcoming workshop on how to Prohibit Procrastination in London on June 24th and even I was surprised that in the views of at least one psychologist it’s apparently harder to quit booze than procrastinating. Now I don’t agree, because I know that it’s possible to control one’s tendency to procrastinate. How? Because I have done so myself.

At School and University I used to procrastinate often, putting off studying for the exams in favour of more interesting past-times (pass-times?) like watching Cricket or reading or just hanging out with friends. Unsurprisingly, over 70% of University students admit to procrastinating and over 20% of “grown-ups” procrastinate regularly. This has an enormous impact on self-esteem, relationships and of course on their results at work. There is also a large and uncountable opportunity cost – not getting in the job application on time, paying penalties for late tax-returns, extra charges for unpaid parking tickets, not getting the girl because you delayed asking her out and the other guy did… the list goes on and on.

I found that there is not only one way to beat procrastinating because there are many reasons why I procrastinate. Some of the reasons are truly shocking and deep-rooted, not something getting an electronic diary or PDA will fix.

Some of the more obvious reasons are that sometime, we just don’t want to do something because the task itself is not appealing; sometimes we don’t like the person who is requesting it, so we feel less inclined to do it and sometimes (wait for it) we are “not in the mood”! Other reasons are less obvious and go deeper into our beliefs such as not knowing how to do something but not wanting to own up to it because we believe it’s not OK to not know. Sometimes we just don’t believe we can do what’s required and cannot face up to that perceived inadequacy.

Often procrastination is an old habit that refuses to go even when we want it to – it’s something we practice for so long it becomes first nature and is hard to overcome because our brains have become wired that way.

the good news is that procrastination is a learned habit and can be unlearned and replaced with more helpful behaviours.

How??? Like I said, there is no “one magic solution”. Depending on the cause or reason why we procrastinate, the solution may be different. If the task appears too big or overwhelming, one solution may be to break it down into bite-sized chunks. Another may be to examine the underlying beliefs of the individual to modify them if needed and make them more empowering and helpful.

Another very powerful technique is to get someone to hold you accountable, like a Coach or a friend – a good example is a gym-buddy.

There are at least 10 reasons why people procrastinate and as many if not more strategies to overcome them.

Just don’t put off figuring out what makes you procrastinate and do something about it!!!

The Banker to the poor – what one man’s vision and expectation can achieve.

I was at Duke University last week for my sisters graduation from the Fuqua School of Business (Congrats sis!!!) and Mohammed Yunus was the commencement speaker. A man who needs no introduction for his pioneering of the concept of Micro-Finance, Yunus is a Nobel Laureate and was also recently awarded the Congressional Medal of Freedom, the highest civilian honour the US President can bestow.

Yunus recounted the story of the Grameen Bank and how he decided to create an institutional solution to deal with the problems of the super-poor by loaning them small amounts of money (under $100). These are the people that banks deemed to be “Not Credit – Worthy”, high-risk clients. Yunus however realised that they wanted to do well, to have a better life than society was allowing them to - on their terms and merit. He saw them as capable people with the ability to do well and repay the loans – people of integrity and courage with a strong desire to succeed.

He then proceeded to break all the rules of the Banking establishment (he did not know them so how was he to know he was even breaking them he asked?), lend money to the poorest of the poor, and lo and behold – a “fluke” happened – people paid back the loans! This fluke eventually became the norm and now the bank loans approximately 100 Million USD a day with a 97% return rate. All this in the face of a global banking collapse, a major recession and a loss of faith in the world financial system. Who is credit worthy now??

What struck me about this beautiful story is that Yunus saw people as whole, capable, willing and able to succeed – and they rose to meet his expectations of them. Other people and institutions saw them as parasites on the system, losers and incapable of anything – that was how they experienced these people by not giving them a chance. I remember reading an article about school boys in England and how they behave when on the football (soccer) pitch and the Cricket field. When playing football, apparently a large number of boys act like “yobs”, abusive, aggressive and unruly, even with the referees. The same boys when playing Cricket apparently are perfect gentlemen and play with decorum and listen tot he Umpire without a murmer. After all, behaving badly is “not Cricket” and will not be tolerated. Another study comes to mind, about an inner city US school where 2 teachers were sent to teach 2 classes, one an under-achieving class of unruly kids, one class of straight-A students. The twist in the tale is that the teacher who was teaching the A students was told they were under-achievers, the one teaching the under-achievers was told they were straight A students.

What do you think happened? Funnily enough, the formerly under-achieving class excelled in all ways and the formerly high-achievers grades plummetted! Again, the major factor appears to be the expectation of the teachers concerned.

So I’m led to believe people rise (or not) to meet our expectations of them – if we expect the best from them, the chances are they will likely live up to that expectation and prove us right. If we expect the worst from them , guess what, they will probably prove us right again!

Back to Yunus – I’m inspired by the fact that he treats every one as a whole, capable person and expects them to succeed – now that is vision.

Check out his speech on the Duke University website at: http://ondemand.duke.edu/video/22268/nobel-laureate-yunus-urges-duk

Back in the UK tomorrow-yay!

Piya

If you believe you will be PM you will!?!

How important is belief??? An interesting article about David Cameron’s ascent to 10 Downing Street caught my eye recently – It asked the question “Why has Eton produced so many Prime Ministers of Great Britain?” The total number in case you are wondering is 19 (and counting), 1 Irish President and 1 Thai PM as well according to the BBC.

What really screamed out for me like a neon sign was that apparently pupils there are instilled with the belief that one day you will run the country, or something to that effect. An extraordinarily large number do go on to take leadership roles in various aspects of UK public life. But this blog is not about Eton, its about belief. How fascinating that these boys have motivational speakers coming to them on a regular basis and telling them  they can achieve anything they dream of! Carpe Diem and all that. Co-incidence? I think not.

Now I’m not a parent or an educator and yet in my experience and perception most kids get the message (either explicitly or implicitly) they should work hard, the world is a difficult/dangerous place and they need to be able to look after themselves so they should study hard, get a good job and make sure they are safe and secure, so nothing bad can happen to them. That’s certainly the gist of the messages my fellow pupils and I got at school (along with a big dollop of God will be angry if you do/don’t do x incidentally).

Big difference in the message? HUGE! We take actions (or not) based on our beliefs and world-views.So if my core belief is “I can do anything, greatness can be mine if I choose” – what actions will I take? How will I behave? How will I pursue opportunities??? On the other hand if I believe “this world is a tough place, better get my head down and make sure I am safe” – what dispositions for action are available for me from this space? How will I behave? What opportunities will I pursue and perhaps more importantly, what might I reject because it’s “too risky”?

How big do you let yourself dream? Why? What do you believe is in your way? Is that true? Is the world doing things “to you”??? Are you telling the story “this is what happened to me” – your TooMe story, OR do you decide what you want to do, write the story of how you want your life to be and go out there and create it that way?

As Henry Ford said “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, either way you’re right”.